What's in an education?

I go back and forth on my stance on furthering my education when it comes to college.  However, when it comes to thinking about culinary school there is only one thought on my mind.  I want to attend one..a really good one..so very badly.  However, I have no idea how I would go about doing so.  I was not allowed to further my education as a Hassidic girl.  No college for me.  It was high school and then the hopes of immediately marrying me off to the highest bidder.  But I had no intention of getting married until I realized that it was my only way out.   I was fortunate to meet someone who understood where I was from and where I thought I wanted to go.  We sort of "left" together - but on separate paths.  This was the gateway to my divorce and freedom.  He went off and married again.  I went off to see what the great wide world was like.  But at the time that I left there were no resources.  Nobody to help me get started in the great blue yonder.  Nobody to teach me the facts of life, or how to be responsible for my finances.  Nobody to teach me how to better myself.  Leaving meant that I was completely alone.  I had little to go on.  Very limited funds.  No great job that brought in much money.  I found a job working for a beeper/pager company.  They paid me minimum wage.  I managed to pay rent...but had little money for anything else.  Then I found a job with a company that designed industrial kitchens and sold commercial kitchen equipment.  I managed to teach myself all of the important programs, like Word, Excel, Lotus, Wordperfect, I studied both Apple and IBM programs avidly and taught myself enough to impress my boss.  I was there for 4 years when I realized that working there was a dead end job that would leave me no room for growth.  I definitely wasn't working in my desired field.  I love cooking.  I love baking.  But the closest I could get to that was selling prep sinks, dishwashers, ice machines, walk-in coolers, blast freezers, kettles and brazers to hospitals, nursing homes, prisons and the occasional restaurant.  I couldn't find a way to afford school, had no credit to get a GSL, nobody to cosign or be a guarantor.  I had to simply work full time to pay my bills.
I managed to find myself in a headhunter's office after going through scads of ads in the papers.  There was no internet back then.  This goes back about 16 years.  I met with the head honcho at the company.  I mentioned that I have an intense fear of tests and begged them not to give me one.  The guy looked at me like I fell off of a distant planet.  I ended up getting a job through them.  And tomorrow I celebrate 15 years with that very company.  It is a very male dominated industry...the world of security and communications.  And I often feel I will never get very far with them either, in spite of my efforts to show how good I am at what I do.  Still, it seems that the guys get all the breaks.  They get all the raises.  They get all the backing of the higher ups.  Me, the ever-eager-to-please female ex-Hassidic girl with very little education but a good deal of wit and smarts?  I get the shaft.  Well - there, anyway (but I won't stand for that in other areas of my life).  Today, in honor of tomorrow's esteemed 15 year anniversary, I get Proseco and a lovely cake.  A nice gesture..yes..but I sure could use a raise.

Yes - it's true.  I am petrified of tests.  I have this intense fear of failure.  I get nauseated at the mere thought of having to be tested for any reason.  I can handle a blood test far more easily that a written or oral test.  I am so scared of failing that I often would black out or hyperventilate while being tested.  This is why I have failed the written DMV test 7 times.  Yes.  7.  It is now a big fat joke to me.  Something I laugh about on the outside, but ache and beat myself up over on the inside.
I am learning not to listen to those voices in my head anymore - and I know that I will meet that challenge and exceed all of my expections - but first I have to face it again.
But back to the culinary school thought...
I know that if I attend a school for culinary arts I would be helping myself in so many ways.  I would probably learn effective tips to becoming more efficient and accurate.  I would learn the correct way to pipe flowers or borders or to tint fondant and roll it out and apply it.  I would learn how to keep certain flubs from occurring when I make my petit fours and my cake balls  I would learn every way possible to keep my chocolate couverture from blooming.  There are so many techniques that I am dying to learn from the confectionery greats.
Enter the greater issue...Money!  Culinary school costs a small fortune.  Why does education have to be so very expensive??? 
So now I sit...typing...wishing I could win the lottery because it seems to be my only chance at getting this opportunity.
So...what's in an education?  Everything.
And that's why I am doing everything in my power to ensure that my daughter gets a good one.  And a college degree.  (She's not even 5 yet, but I will see to it that she does!!!)

Cooking and Baking With Your Kids

I derive such absolute pleasure from seeing the look on my daughter's face when I tell her she can help me cook or bake.  Her interest in food is quite impressive.
She loves to sit and watch cooking shows with me, especially if they involve contests and judging.  She has a very keen opinion on who should win and why.  I must say, quite often, I am with her on her choice and reasoning.
My little chef-in-training is all of 4 3/4 years old.  Yes, 4 3/4.  She has very strong likes and dislikes; some based on textural preference, some on flavor.  While she used to love spicy food as a baby, she changed once she started day care.  Suddenly she preferred chicken nuggets over turkey chili.  I guess I knew there was a chance of that happening, but I thought it would happen much later.  The good news is she is still often open to trying new foods, but only on her own terms.  I hope and pray her taste matures again and she decides it's okay to try chicken feet or tripe.  She is one of the only children I know who likes Korean blood sausage and boudin noir.  I was pleasantly shocked that she tried either and loved both.
Cooking with my sweet girl is such a blast.  I get to teach her about measurements and ratios in a fun way - in a way that she can grasp at this tender age.  She loves to season meatballs and chicken and sauces and she really gets a hoot when I let her form the meatballs.  I can't possibly get away with making a cake or cookie batter on my own.  She always HAS to stir the batter, mix in the chips or raisins or nuts, flatten the cookies on the tray, sprinkle on sugar or sprinkles.

I have the best little helper ever.  When she was just a tiny little two year old she actually pressed the crust into tart pans for Thanksgiving pecan pies.  I was testing a raw crust recipe made with dates, pecans, flax seeds and coconut oil.  It was such a lovely crust and it had a really nice texture. I watched, adoringly, as her tiny little pudgy hands worked so deftly at pressing that crust so carefully into the pan.  I absolutely melted inside.

This was definitely my girl.  No question.  She would look at me and grin after every few pats and I saw pure joy in her eyes. I see that same joy every time I ask her if she wants to help me in the kitchen.
I think that such a deep bond is formed when you bring your kids into the kitchen to cook with you.  The kitchen is a warm place, a room filled with good memories for many.  I think that my happiest childhood experiences involved cooking and the kitchen.  It seemed to be the only place I could earn some form of approval from my parents.  I baked some delicious devil's food cakes, cheesecakes and cookies, and my father always loved it when I chopped the salad because the veggies were always evenly chopped into a tiny dice.  My knife skills were actually pretty good for a teenager.  When I was about 12 years old, it was my job every Tuesday night to make spaghetti and meatballs for dinner.  It became a family favorite.  It actually was also one of my baby's favorites and she had it for dinner on her first birthday.  Notice, saucy mouth open and waiting for more!

I hope that my daughter remembers her time with me in the kitchen and looks back on it fondly.  I truly wish for her to cultivate her love of food, of cooking, of judging, and - quite possibly - of writing about it all.

All about Chanukah, only after the fact

This past Chanukah was a very different experience.
My daughter, now 4 3/4 years old, is better able to grasp the meaning of Chanukah, the beauty of the miracle and the significance of the foods we eat.
The miracle is all about the oil in the holy temple lasting eight days when, in reality, there was only enough to keep the menorah lit for one night.
So, in tribute to the great miracle, we eat foods fried in oil.  While the miracle of the oil involved extra virgin olive oil, known in Hebrew as "shemen zayit zach", any oil will do.
The most common Chanukah treats are latkes (pronounced either lot'-keys or lot'-kahs), which were born in Eastern Europe, and jelly doughnuts, called sufganiyot (pronounced soof'-gah-nee-yot'), which were born in Israel.
There is also a tradition of eating dairy foods in tribute to the story of Judith and Holofernes.  In short, Holofernes, an Assyrian general, was about to destroy the home of Judith, a beautiful widow who lived in the village of Bethulia.  Holofernes found Judith to be of great beauty and thus allowed her into his tent where she plied him with cheese, which made him thirsty, and she then got him seriously drunk with lots of wine to quench his thirst.  This made him very sleepy.  While he slept, she beheaded him, and then put his head in a basket, carrying it to the town gate where she stuck it for all to see.
Many people have the custom of giving their children gifts every one of the eight nights of Chanukah.  That was not the tradition with which I was raised.  We were actually taught that the custom of giving gifts is a poor imitation of Christmas and not the "correct" way to observe the holiday.
So, following a bit closer to the tradition of my upbringing, I only gave my daughter symbolic little trinkets that related to the holiday.
On the first night she was given a yo-yo that plays a Chanukah song while you play it rolls up and down.  That night was also celebrated with the lighting of the first candle and the serving of zucchini latkes as a side dish with our dinner.
On the second night, she got a dreydl and learned what each of the four letters stand for, and how the game is played.
On the third night, she got some chocolate coins, with which she could play the dreydl.

And so on, and so on, until the last night.  All eight candles were lit, songs were sung, and a delicious dinner was served.  And then, the crowning glory of the final night, delectable homemade sufganiyot with a healthier twist.  I filled them with fresh strawberries and a bit of fresh strawberry jam.  They were so delicious.
I froze the remaining unfilled doughnuts.  The following weekend, I made the most incredibly delicious doughnut French toast and topped it with Nutella.  Oh goodness, that was some really good eats!!!

Hors D'oeuvres / Appetizers

Yes, I know you are looking at the title of this post and you're probably wondering what confections might have to do with hors d'oeuvres  or appetizers.
Not much, I guess, but confections are not my first passion.  Food is.  And I especially love tasty treats in small bite sized portions, which is what drew me to confections.  They are so delightful when they are small and bite sized, so you don't feel quite as guilty if you have more than one piece.
I find the same goes for appetizers.  When they are small bundles of tastiness, it is so nice to be able to try a few different types, rather than sit down to a big portion of only one type of food.
I absolutely love to entertain.  One of the nice things about little bites is that you can usually prepare them pretty quickly and you can satisfy a variety of palates more efficiently.
The joy I derive from seeing smiles, hearing ooooohs and aaaaaahs and mmmmms, and seeing clean plates and platters is boundless.  It must be the Jewish mother in me.
Some of my favorite little bites are hot, but there are lots of nice cold edibles as well.  I will gladly make these to order.  A price list is available upon request.  Many of these dishes can be converted to vegetarian or vegan.
Here is a list of some of my favorites, hot and cold.

HOT:

• Chicken Italiano - Chicken breast strips rolled with basil and sun dried tomato pesto on a rosemary skewer
• Pulled Spicy Short Rib Sliders - Short ribs braised in a spicy barbecue sauce, pulled-pork style, served on toasted brioche with a crunchy apple & cabbage slaw
• Cheese Steak Poppers - Roasted jalapeno peppers stuffed with a cheesy steak filling, battered and rolled in crispy spicy crumbs and baked or fried to perfection
• Sesame Chicken Blossoms - A melange of chicken, sauteed onions and garlic, and a sweet and spicy sesame sauce baked in the heart of a flaky pastry crust daisy
• Not Your Momma's Pigs in a Blanket - NOPE!  These are made with mini sausage links that are wrapped in bacon and baked in a bath of maple syrup.  You can't eat just one!
• Meatball Surprise - Beautiful, luscious baby meatballs filled with a delightful surprise of melted smoked mozzarella and toasted pine nuts in the center, served with a smoky red pepper sauce
• Spanakopita Triangles - Clever little triangles of phyllo filled with garlicky sauteed spinach and feta cheese and a hint of nutmeg laced bechamel
• Salt Cod Cakelettes - Miniature cod cakes made in crab cake style and pan fried or baked for a nice crispy bite, served with a delightful homemade tangy tartar sauce
• Shroomalicious Heads - Baby bella mushroom caps stuffed with a blend of sauteed shallots, pancetta  and zucchini, with a bit of crispy crumb to pull it all together, topped with a shroomy sauce
• Crazy Cabbage Bites - Imagine Bubby's stuffed cabbage, only tinier and vegan, and served with the most incredible spicy tomato sauce for dipping
• Knish Knosh - Itty bitty creamy potato knishes envelope a nutty filling of savory buckwheat and mushrooms
• Swiss Onion Tartlettes - Sweet and savory caramelized shaved onions and melted Swiss cheese baked in a golden flaky tartlette that will make your mouth water

COLD:

• Tiny Tomato Tubs - Cocktail tomatoes hollowed out and filled with Moroccan cous-cous and topped with a sprinkle of Ras al Hanout and a sprig of mint
• Lettuce Wrap It Up - Refreshing romaine filled with a crunchy salad of bean sprouts, baked tofu, water chestnuts, toasted pine nuts, golden raisins, shredded carrots and a light sri racha vinaigrette
• Cucumber Cups - Hollowed cups of chilled crisp cucumber filled with a curried shrimp salad, some slivered scallions and a drizzle of creamy raita dressing
• Potato Salad Slices - Sliced Peruvian blue potatoes topped with a creamy heap of peas, carrots, pickled cucumbers and hard boiled egg in a dijonnaise sauce with a kick of cayenne
• Celery Boats - Celery sticks get their cavities filled with a pungent blue cheese, walnut and dried cranberry spread that will blow your mind
• Baby Blini Bites - Light and airy buckwheat crepes topped with smoked salmon, capered mascarpone, paper thin shavings of cucumber and a heap of salmon roe, topped with a sprig of dill
• Beet Me Baby - Sliced roasted beets topped with a slice of warm goat cheese crusted with an herbed crumb coating and a dollop of red onion balsamic marmalade
• Potatoes Nicoise - Little baked taters hollowed out and filled with seared tuna cubes, pickled haricot vert, Moroccan black olives, shaved red onion, roasted garlic, topped with a raw quail egg
• BLACT Clubbies - Toasted honey wheat triple decker sandwiches layered with bacon, red-leaf lettuce, avocado, grilled chicken and heirloom tomato drizzled with a light ranch dressing 
• Fancy Tea Sammies - Lightly toasted white bread spread with alternating layers of fluffy herbed egg salad, herbed cream cheese and baked salmon salad, like a savory seven layer cake
• Ravishing Radishes - Hollowed out radishes filled with creamy ricotta, seasoned with chives, roasted garlic, diced tomato, crowned with a sprinkling of chipped chive and a light drizzle of truffle oil
• Gjetost Goodies - Norwegian graham flour flatbread, spread with a walnut paste seasoned with cardamom and topped with thinly sliced gjetost and sliced green apple and drizzled with honey

Nothing pleases me more than making the world a happier place, one delicious bite at a time.

Gluten Free / Vegan Voyage

I don't have to live a gluten free life, which is such a blessing to me because I don't really think I could if I tried.  This makes it more important to me to be able to create something so very delicious and authentic tasting for someone who is not quite as fortunate.
There are so many people affected by celiac who have to live a life free of wheat and other glutinous grains.  This makes it a challenge to create breads, cakes and cookies with that texture and flavor we all know and love.
Gluten makes dough pliable and fluffy and gives body to breads and cakes.
Wheat flour gives a lovely crunch to cookies.
Gluten is the magic that makes stuff good.
Or is it?
Likewise, vegans eliminate from their diets the very ingredients that also lend to the perfection of the finished product when it comes to cakes, pastries and breads.  What is egg challah without eggs?  What is a sponge cake without egg whites?  What is the custard in a Boston Cream Pie without cream and eggs???
And what happens when you combine these two restrictive diets and try to make stuff taste really delicious and authentic??
It came as a great surprise to me that I was actually able to conjure up some pretty delectable treats without the use of these products.
The more I study food, the more I realize how simple it is to come up with alternatives.
I have always had to observe a special diet of my own.  Since I was raised ultra orthodox, I had to observe the kosher dietary laws.  When cooking a meal containing meat, we couldn't use dairy ingredients...so making a steak with a sauce mounted with butter was just not an option.  And using lardons or bacon or any kind of pig product was strictly forbidden.  So we had to come up with alternatives.
I truly believe that this experience has made it easier for me to find alternatives in other areas of cooking and baking.

Pate de Fruit with a Twist

This week I played around with fruit and creating candy with it.
With delicious applesauce and berries I whipped up some delightful pate de fruit, but I found it way too cloyingly sweet.  So I sprinkled it lightly with citric acid and then coated it with some sugar crystals, creating a healthier and tastier version of a sour patch kid that an adult can really go ga-ga over...and still give it to their kids knowing it isn't completely junky and bad for them.
I made an apple guava jelly (but the guava flavor seems to have faded in the cooking process - so maybe more guava, less apple, next time around).  I cut those into delightful little birds and bears and also into squares and rounds.

Then I made one with a bit of applesauce combined with blueberry and raspberry puree.  I made some of them in little dome molds and then put the rest in a tray to firm.  Cut some into squares and the rest into rings.  I just had to try to recreate the Joyva jelly ring.
After the little gems had "cured" exposed to air for a couple of days, I tested them.  With the citric acid and sugar they were so tart, tangy and fruity.
Then I did the chocolate test.  I had no idea if it would work.

I melted the chocolate and then gave them a beautiful, silky brown bath. Then I set them on wax paper to  firm up. They looked pretty authentic. Then, the taste test...
PERFECTION!

The chocolate was just bitter enough...the jelly just fruity and sweet enough...the tart hint of citric acid...
Absolutely the best jelly ring I have ever let melt in my mouth.
What a sweet treat!

Sugar - A New Friendship Is Born

I never knew that there were quite so many kinds of sugar available.  I knew of several, but the entire gamut?  Well, I wasn't quite aware there was so much more.  I am not even sure I've acquainted myself with everything out there yet, but I hope to.
Sugar is my new friend.  Feisty sweet demon, it is...but I'm enthralled and I'm hooked.
Mind you, I have to be careful as I was diabetic many years ago (since having lost a great deal of weight my diabetes is still a risk, but not a threat at this point - as long as I do not eat sugar in excess).
White sugar, light and dark sugar are probably most widely available and popular.  However, I am discovering all sorts of other sugars like palm, date, coconut, etc.
I hope to share many new recipes as I test them, along with photos of the goodies I produce with them.